Hip and Bosom Thrusting Babes

I was reading a post here about hip and bosom thrusting babes. Most of you wouldn’t even bat an eyelid leave alone recoil in shock except if I told you these were babes barely out of their cradle. 

Yes, this post is about what we can do to prevent this trend - of toddlers who, with their parents’ approval, enter beauty competitions and buy dolls that they can breast feed - from catching on. 

Demarcations vary from parent to parent for a whole host of complex reasons. I wouldn’t try and tell any individual parent what’s okay and what isn’t. But I’d rather this trend didn’t spread. 

Life is all about emulating your peers or someone you admire. How do you tell a child who is innocently copying gyrations from other young kids on TV - moves that look decidedly "adult", that it isn’t okay? Would a simple “NO” suffice? 

New age parents might feel that does a lot of psychological damage to their kids. So what should they do if they want to stop their darlings from swivelling their innocent little hips or striking a pose? How should they control the urge to yell at their toddlers to stop? Parenting skills definitely come into the picture. We want our kids to understand the limits and boundaries we set up and yet we don't want them to grow up thinking we are bullies. Depending on our kid's nature that sends a bad message - either that it is okay to bully if you want your way or that it is scary and very intimidating or that you hate your parents. 

So how do we get the message across more tactfully? We aren’t born with such skills. In the old days they used to come from experience, our own parents, books by experts and trial and error. Today, they might be from all of the above plus reading the net – not only what the experts have to say, but also through online discussions with other like minded parents. 

Here are a few suggestions.

• If parents are good dancers, perhaps they could join in – dance with their kids in a way that is fun and yet more acceptable, show their kids a couple of slightly challenging steps that they might admire more than a hip thrust or a moue of the mouth.
•  What if our kids find OUR dancing offensive? Unbearably clumsy? Embarrassing in front of their peers? Perhaps they could watch other kids dancing on dvd or join a dancing class for fun.
• What does a parent do if the child still continues with those hip grinding moves in spite of all their sensible parenting skills? You’ve got me there. I honestly don’t know the answer to that. Your thoughts and suggestions welcome.

What I do know is, weakly giving in because we don't want our kids growing up feeling denied or psychologically damaged is not an option. On the whole, I do feel parents should set limits. To my mind very young kids, for their own safety should grow up with a clear idea of what the demarcations are. As they grow, they could be given more (and more) choices.   

I feel kids who know their boundaries grow up feeling less confused, more secure and infinitely safer. And that’s a great psychological advantage over kids who have no sense of what they can and can’t do because of lack of parental guidelines.

To end, here are two scenarios – one is a toddler beauty pageant with lots of pictures and the other, two young kids jumping about energetically on Youtube. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2197518/Pouting-posing-growing-soon-beauty-pageant-princess-aged-And-US-UK.html

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4_U8PuI84o

If I had grandkids, I know which of the two I’d like them to emulate.

14th November, Jawaharlal Nehru's Birthday, is Children's day in India
The United Nations observes November 20 as Universal Children's Day
Info gleaned from this wonderful post