Friday, January 4, 2013

An Essential Flaw

Guest Post: Please help me welcome Glad2bawoman, a community that believes in celebrating women. All decent men and women are sure to enjoy and appreciate what they have to say. Here's a very valid point they make.

The increasing frequency with which rapes are occurring in our country today, has raised more than a few eyebrows. It has managed to enrage a whole nation and it has lead to widespread speculation about ways in which this problem can be dealt with. A lot of people have been debating upon the nature of punishment which the rapists need to be dealt with, in order to incite fear in the hearts of anyone who would think of attempting such a heinous crime in the future. Quite a few people have been talking about arming women with pepper-sprays, and the more radical opinion which states that arms possession should become legalized for women in our country so as to protect them from rapists. 

While these are the opinions being expressed, by large, every family is warning the women of the household to not step out after nightfall, to not wear sleeveless tops or short skirts, to not walk alone in deserted lanes, and to not do anything to induce the ardour of a strange man on the streets. This is a basic problem which needs to be addressed, which is also a deciding factor for what the nature of the punishment of rapists should be. The whole outlook about women remaining protected during these trying times is, the fact that a man’s libido is volatile, and that he is no better than a predator who should not be tempted. This is the predominant viewpoint which has been circulated all over the country for years now. A woman wearing short clothes was asking to get raped, or a woman walking down the street late at night knew that she would get raped. 

The fact is, the idea of men being powerless in front of their libido is what should be changed. This is a very important aspect which also justifies rape, and let rapists get away with just about anything. This very flawed construct residing in our society is not just parroted by men, but also by women. This form of judgemental justification of rape is something which has been bred into our cultural consciousness so deeply, that even if we would like to change things, deep in our minds, the idea is still very firmly rooted. Very few of us would really dare to step out very late in the night, wearing clothes which might attract “unwanted attention”. This is what reserved seats for women on public vehicles point to, as well. And this form of chauvinism needs to be eliminated in order for anybody to come up with long-term solutions on how to solve the issue of sex crimes in India. 

Men and their ardour should not be made unaccountable. Ultimately, a biological evolution of our species has ensured the growth of both genders, and there is no reason for men to not be able to control their physical urges, if women can do so. The mindset needs to change before the rules do.

10 comments:

  1. A change of mindset is the key to the problem and in a diverse country like India it is a daunting task!

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    1. I agree, Rahul. It is daunting. In the short term I hope these low lives get the punishment they deserve and swiftly. In the long term there is much to be done and we've got to make a start.

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  2. Men's libido can never justify rape,nor permit them to get away with it.When women tell their daughters to dress decently they only want them to be safe rather than sorry.I believe anyone's get-up should blend with the surroundings & not stand out like a sore thumb.Perhaps women's attitudes,their aspirations are changing faster than the mores inbuilt in our society.Or maybe men don't like this new-found independence being displayed by women.Yes it is not fair,but look what happens if we insist upon going against the grain too fast.Ultimately our safety comes uppermost,don't you think?

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    1. Yes, Indu. Safety has to be our first consideration even as we try and change a "jungle" mindset. All of civilised society was horrified by what Damini went through. We also felt a sense of guilt and hopelessness because our "play safe" ways have, in a way, been responsible. That problem has to have a long term, multi-pronged solution.

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  3. Hi KM,

    A very powerful post. Adding to what you have said, I guess it's time women took it upon themselves to teach and beat the male ego, so that they get a taste of their own medicine. I would recommend women learning some self-defense techniques and then moving out in groups. Just like carpooling, the women can arrange such pools wherein, groups of women escort each other after the sun sets.

    Hope this country improves for the better in the time to come. Thanks for sharing your views with everybody.

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My FB Page

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    1. Jay, this post was written by Glad2bawoman. Glad you liked it. I agree that whilst the mindset of some Indians remains sub-human and justice remains elusive with punishments delayed and victims being made to feel like culprits it is wise to take sensible precautions.

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  4. A very strong post. Until there is change at the grass root level, the things won't be looking up.

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    1. I honestly hope the blogging community / social media comes up with a few suggestions as to how we should effect that change, gbtp.

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  5. I totally agree!..its time men should better control their libido rather than putting on a girl that by wearing or stepping out late at night ...she was asking for it!... I largely blame our society for this... yes totally ... I know its on girls to make sure they stay safe ..but where all..even few unfortunate ones have rapist in their own houses :(... but as a society we are too careless with young boys...they party late at night we never bother and why...he can go anywhere without telling anyone just because he's the son!>.. I think society has to become more stricter with boys as well...and teach them how to respect women..

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    1. I'd go even further back, Vandana. In the old days we, as parents, did the best we could. We learnt parenting skills from our parents and if we were so inclined, a book. Today, for any little problem there's help and guidance on the net. Your "sun" is a bully, gets bullied, is disrespectful, is developing a non co-operative attitude in this social world of ours - just look it up. It is in your hands to bring up a happy, assertive and empathetic child.

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