Showing posts with label lgbt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lgbt. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Love Is Love


 

We all know that it is the bad, the crooked, the uncaring, the corrupt and violent individuals who make society unsafe. 

Nurturing, caring for, looking after, being happy with - do terms like these sound like something that ought to make society unsafe? How does it matter who you wish to spend your life with? Whether they are members from a different community, religion, of the same sex or from the opposite sex, should mutual love and respect be a reason for violence? 

Yet, it is difficult to ignore that the band of individuals who belong to the first category above are ever ready to use the minority card to stir trouble for the ones who are different from the majority. 

Becoming Zubin (as yet unpublished) is the story of one individual coming to terms with his sexuality. If you like determined heroes who are willing to fight for what they believe in, if you like youngsters who are game for a laugh, and fiction with a touch of romance, you'll enjoy this coming-of-age action adventure.

To the ones who are afraid to come out as LGBTQI+, I would simply say, read articles to understand and accept who you are. Here's one that explains the reasons individuals might want to / not want to come out. It goes on to explain things to keep in mind before you come out and much more. 
Be patient with the ones who are ignorant, prejudiced and homophobic. In India, homosexuality has, until recently, always been an open secret - something never to be discussed. So many of us grew up not knowing what it was. So many of us grew up not knowing a thing about sexuality, for that matter. Why not? In the days before the internet we only had our parents or teachers to look up to. And they didn't explain the birds and the bees to us. They thought they were protecting us but now we know better. Knowledge is power.

In this wonderful age of the internet, there's so much you can do. If you are, or feel you might be an LGBT+ individual in India, you can join support groups like the Humsafar Trust
 
Always remember, who you love, who you wish to nurture, who you wish to be with because they make you happy, and who reciprocate your feelings can never be wrong. 

Love Is Love.




Friday, July 8, 2016

HOW WE UNCONSCIOUSLY SUPPORT HOMOPHOBIA

We've all heard the term, 'homophobia.' Most of us think to ourselves, 'That's not me. Didn't I drape my profile picture on facebook in rainbow colours to support them? Do I ever abuse them orally or physically? And don't I support their rights?' 

In India, the majority do have a, 'live and let live' attitude. Most of us support the homosexual community, but there are more ways than outright abuse to harm our minority LGBT+ community. The major culprit is ignorance. And perhaps, indifference. We are heterosexual, and homosexuality doesn't really concern us. 

Today, I would like to show how homosexuality does concern all of us.

If someone says, "It is unnatural,' what is our reaction? Do we feel angry but lack the courage to defend the LGBT+ community? Or do we feel forced to concede it is so? If it is the latter, it is because we are ignorant. It is because many of us, inside our hearts believe it is unnatural. But more than that, it is because we haven't bothered to find out for ourselves and say with conviction it isn't. We've kept away. There is only so much support we are capable of giving.

After reading the plethora of information available online - information from reliable sources, we come to know that about 7% of the population is born homosexual. They are not capable of entering into a physical relationship with people of the opposite sex. And humans aren't the only ones. It happens throughout the animal kingdom.

Even if we knew the fact, there's Bollywood and the way they portray the LGBT+ community that holds us back from giving our unstinting support. Here's one article on the subject  

So, how do we know we have these unconscious biases? Here's a challenge. Next time you see a pride march, observe your reaction. Do you walk past or drive past in a hurry? Do you hurry your kids past? Or do you pause to watch? Perhaps smile at their enjoyment? That should give you an indication. 

There's a lot we could do to overcome our biases.  

  • join Indian LGBT+ sites 
  • get to know individuals as individuals and not only by their sexual orientation
  • follow Godrej’s example for inclusive policies and policies of gay rights at the office
  • wave or even walk part of the way during gay parades
  • comment on videos or articles on the LGBT+ community… 
If you have more suggestions please do let me know either through the comments section or via email and I'll include them in the post. Please remember, unnecessarily rude comments will be deleted.

Here’s a beautiful series I watched recently - All About Article 377 . Don’t get fooled by the title. It is mostly about fun, young individuals living in Mumbai - some gay and some not. An interesting plot and the acting is superb.  

Final thought. First, an article debunking 5 Myths About Gay People on the LIVE SCI=ENCE website. 

Next, a question. Why should we work on our unconscious bias? 

Half baked or dhachu-pachu support for any cause falls into the hands of  the violent, in this case,  homophobic individuals who believe they can mentally or physically abuse homosexuals and get away with it. 

The violent have only one thing on their minds - power through violence. All else has failed for most of them. They disguise their desire for violence in various ways - homosexuals are perverts. women invite rape by wearing provocative clothes, servants don't know their place, a community's eating habits or strange rituals...

How could I forget cruelty to Animals?

The way to fight homophobia is to be informed and have the courage of our convictions. If most of us are (naturally) scared to stand up to the violent, if most of us are peace loving and non-interfering how do we do that? Do we simply let them go ahead and perpetrate their violence? Do we hand over our country and the future into their hands? Do we ignore our humanity when we see violence perpetrated by bullies on their victims? 

Here's an alternative. We get organised. (The violent certainly have.) We get together with others like us.

Click here to discover a simple yet effective way to meet others like us. 







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Saturday, April 16, 2016

Two Lesbian Women and I

A True Story. (No Sexual Content)

 

In the old days I knew two women, both young, and in their early twenties. Let’s just call them A and A.

When I first came to know about their being lesbian, I was shocked. I took it upon myself to try and talk them out of it. Feeling virtuous, I thought I would speak to them face to face. No back-biting from this girl!

I knocked on A's door and was invited in. The other A was there. The rumours must be true, I thought. Being of a delicate disposition I asked them bluntly if they were a couple. Their faces went white. They didn't know what to say.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Adrian and Shashi


Short Story, Fiction. 

Microsoft Free Clipart
Shashi cooked the evening meal, glancing fondly at Adrian as he fed the dog. Their bedsit was big as a barn and they’d both felt a dog wouldn’t cramp their space. They’d found Tim at the local SPCA.

“I swear Tim’s grown since last night.”

“His food bill certainly has since last month,” Shashi said dryly, energetically stirring the white wine sauce, one amused eye on Tim wolfing down his food. Within seconds it was gone. The dog looked surprised. Adrian laughed. Tim wagged his tail and bent down to give his bowl another professional lick. A few laps of water to wash it all down and he looked at Shashi with beseeching eyes.

“We’ll take you soon as I’m done, action man,” Shashi grinned, expertly measuring out rice and water into the electric cooker – a gift from thoughtful parents to make life easy. Shashi remembered wondering at the time where in the small kitchenette this would fit. Now steaming hot rice, because it was cheap and easy to cook, had become a regular accompaniment to their meals. 

Weeping Willow, NZ
With Tim barking madly at his heels, Adrian walked to the door. Barely managing to contain an animal gone berserk with joy, he leashed Tim and stepped out, letting the dog run ahead as far as the retractable leash would allow.  Putting the final touches to their meal Shashi hurried after them, eager for the walk after slaving over the hot stove.

It was dusk - the best time of day to unwind after a long, hard, punishing schedule. Their exams were looming and if they weren’t attending lectures, they were cramming. Tim forced them to get away from it all for a few minutes everyday. Once back home they would bury their noses in their books again, but with fresher minds.

Trying to keep up with Tim’s energy as he charged off to sniff at trees, lamp posts and grass verges, Shashi smiled. Tim had added a wonderful dimension to their lives. 

“Wonder what’s exciting about sniffing at dog piss,” laughed Adrian.

“You don’t know what stories those smells tell.” 

They approached the bend in the road. This is where university flats ended and the posh suburb of Streamarbour began. A wide grassy bank, majestic willows, birches and pohutakawa lined the little stream where ducks paddled, entertaining families with kids, university students, couples and the old. Shashi and Adrian paused to watch as a proud mama duck and her ducklings swam past single file. “Quark” warned mama duck in guttural tones to one of the ducklings who got waylaid by someone squatting at the edge of the stream, holding out her hand.

Tim seemed to know that hand. Tugging hard at his leash he almost dragged Adrian to reach it and proceeded to smother it all over with a very slobbery tongue. “Oh TIM,” squealed a familiar voice. Adele jumped up hurriedly to face Adrian and Shashi with a smile. “Oops, sorry Adele. Ever since you got him those doggie treats he’s been overwhelmed with gratitude.” 

“You mean, overwhelming,” laughed Adele ruefully, rubbing her wet hand and face. Part of the charm of a university town was that one did run into friends often. After a few minutes of conversation Adele said she had to get some books from the library and that she’d better hurry before it closed.

Adrian and Shashi smiled their goodbyes clutching Tim's collar for he wanted, once again, to demonstrate his fondness for the lady.

“Easy boy,” murmured Shashi, making sure Adele was out of earshot, “she’s married to medicine. You don’t stand a chance.” 

Adrian laughed. “I agree,” he said. “She’ll probably top the class." 

After a good forty-five minutes they led a tired but happy dog back home. Tim promptly flopped in his favourite corner, dozing contentedly within seconds. Adrian poured out some wine - a pinot for Shashi and a cold chardonnay for himself, gifts from Adrian's indulgent parents. 

“You drink red and I, white; I am a tea person and you prefer coffee. However did we get together and manage to stay together for five whole years?” he laughed.

“I know. You like rugby - jinkies, what a blood sport,” Shashi teased, knowing Adrian would rise to the bait as he loved rugby with a passion.

“What about cricket? Half the players are just sitting around waiting.”

“You wouldn’t understand. It is a game of skill.”

“It’s boring. Nothing seems to happen. Rugby is fast - involves all players.”

“A game of kill," said Shashi, slightly riled, "where the unsporting rule by manhandling their opponents.” That was an unfair dig – a reference to a recent incident where a rugby player had picked up his opponent by the legs and smashed his head.

“Those players are disqualified - taken off the field immediately. You know that. Rugby isn’t just violence without rules."

 “Those huge hulks break all your so-called rules and are happy to take the penalty AFter they’ve almost crippled their opponents and made them redundant,” said Shashi. “That’s not sporting.”

Adrian laughed softly. “People break rules in cricket too – all that match fixing and under arm bowling...” 

This was beginning to sound like an argument. How on earth did that happen?

“Well,” said Shashi, flush in the face, eyebrows knitted, “I hate it when that happens.”

 Realising they were dangerously close to a fight over something outside their influence, Adrian quietly got up and dished out the food. Then he motioned for Shashi to join him.

Damn, it smells good,” said Adrian, sniffing appreciatively.

Shashi, knowing full well Adrian was trying to make up, but still sore about his exposing the underbelly of cricket, couldn’t help feeling a bit gratified. The two ate their meal in silence though both were aware that it was Shashi’s turn to say something to indicate the fight was over. Feeling childish and pretending to take refuge in their theory of savouring each bite, seemed like a better idea.

Damn, it tastes good too,” he ventured finally, responding to Adrian's truce offering. The two smiled tentatively and Adrian raised his glass in a silent toast. After a sip he added, “Hope I can rustle up something as good tomorrow.” They finished the meal and continued sitting at the table, chatting some more. Then, reluctantly, they got up to clear away their simple meal.

As the two passed each other Adrian silently reached out for Shashi. For a moment the young men hugged, content, energised by each other, and wonderfully happy. These were their last few, critical days at medical college. Both knew a lot depended on their doing well in their exams. There could be no distractions now. “Later,” said Shashi softly with a sigh and a final lingering feel of Adrian’s wonderfully sculpted arms. The moment passed and they reluctantly broke contact. After a while each was lost in his books.

They both had dreams. To make them a reality  they knew they’d have to work hard - perhaps harder than others. There simply were no shortcuts. Eventually, they planned a partnership.  Partners in life and partners in work.

Damn, life was good.

Note for non-Indians – The name, 'Shashi' is common to both genders in India. I used the name as I wanted heterosexual Indians to realise only towards the end that the story was about two men living ordinary lives together. As I suspected, most comments were positive towards same sex couples.

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