Can We Change the Mindset of People Who Condone Rape?

My post is limited in scope. It asks if we can change the mindset of people who condone rape.  Here, right at the outset are a couple of well thought out, well researched and informed articles on rape in reputable newspapers - Tehelka and The Hindu.

"How Do We Stop Rapes and Challenging India's Rape Culture. 

Going back to  our ability to change people's mindset, according to ehow, "To change a mindset you first need to know that your mindset needs changing. 

• Many people don't know that they need to change their mindset. 
• Then there are those who are in denial, which means they know, but are too scared to make the changes. 
• Finally, there are those who know and do. 

Take the rapists. Whatever their justification they certainly don't acknowledge that their mindset needs changing. According to Ruchira Gupta in one of the articles mentioned above the rapists might feel it is gungho, macho "masculine" to rape. Where does that notion come from? Ruchira feels it is promoted by their role models in politics, business and the media. 

Who else won't acknowledge their mindset needs changing? 

The ones who have grown up believing males will be males and females ought to be more careful if they don't want to be raped have that mindset. They might not be rapists themselves but they hold that firm belief. We've heard such comments from our politicians and the police - the "influencers" - a term used by Angela in her post about rape in India.

People who are in denial: We can safely say the rapist's family is in denial. They don't want the perpetrator to be punished. Some male police and politicians are in denial. This category knows rape is the perpetrator's fault and the victim isn't to blame. They are either intimidated by their peers, are apathetic or lack the courage to work for change. Best to stay out of controversy and play it safe. Many of us - both male and female, fall into this category too.

As for the ones who feel it is time this mindset changed - (the rest of us), we are only just learning to make our voices heard. We've been subdued over time by the indifference, ruthlessness and corruption of individuals in our government and bureaucracy. Yet we are angered beyond belief by the brutality of the recent rapes. How exactly can we, who find rape abhorrent, change this mindset in India so that they

• are forced to care about the safety of women in India
• scrupulously register cases of rape without question? (I've always wondered why the police have this reluctance to register rape cases. One reason is that some of them are male chauvinists. What are the other reasons? Diktats from individuals in government with threats of transfer if they don't do as they are told? Will someone please table ALL possible reasons so we can understand their reluctance?) And
• mete out swift justice to both, the perpetrator and the victim?

Keeping in mind what we can (not what they should) do:

 We could stop accepting and giving dowries. Isn't giving our precious daughter away enough? Or is she so worthless some of us feel compelled to offer a little(!) compensation to sweeten the rotten deal they are getting? How long are we going to keep stoking the myth that men are vastly superior to women? How long will marriage remain a deal between unequals rather than a rewarding partnership between two human beings?

The economically backward won't change that mindset because money from any source is welcome. But the well off? (My instinctive belief is that the more they demand the worse they'll treat your daughter as nothing will be enough for them. Is that the kind of miserable family you are willing to give her into?)

Legally dowries are abolished but mindsets still haven't changed. 

As G. Pandrang Rao said in a comment in Angela's post, it is ridiculous that some people in India don't rejoice at the birth of a baby girl. 

The poor certainly don't. How can they? All they see is financial ruin and the heavy yoke of debt for life after her marriage.

Protest marches? People's enthusiasm wanes after some time and the government knows they just have to wait it out till people's energies and resources start wearing thin before they are back in "business" - carrying on with other "important" matters. And now, the police have started slapping protestors as we found out recently. Ugh. Without speculating we've got to find out from the horse's mouth what they think their job really is.

Even if our marches aren’t that successful – after all many of us are new to public protests - an expose makes the perpetrators, the police and the government embarrassed. It hurts their image. We cannot afford to give up on protest marches. 

Office culture: We could change it if everyone decides on zero tolerance for sexual harassment, be it from the boss or the peon. It doesn't depend on the government nor does it depend on the police. It depends on us, the so-called educated and the enlightened. Having said that I hope "zero tolerance" doesn't go to the other extreme. Decent men shouldn't be afraid to be within 6 feet of women nor should their every joke be misconstrued as sexual harassment. We don't want a partition or a purdah nor do we want to kill light hearted fun - that would be a tragedy - we just want sexual harassment in offices to stop and we want decent men on our side.

Making the laws of our land work: Here's what young Bharati said in Never Mind Yaar "The common umbrella we all share is that of our humanity, guided by the laws of our city. This helps provide order, peace and justice through which we share our city's resources. This umbrella covers all of us in our diversity; all of us have to obey its dictates to be able to live and prosper together, under its shade."

"Our humanity and the laws of the country!" Unfortunately, today we have to conclude that the humanity of people in power is questionable. The safety of women on the streets isn't on their minds. The laws of our country? We have to acknowledge they haven't helped most victims of rape. They are ineffective because the "influencers" either ignore them or bend them at will. They are not afraid of the consequences of doing so. With so much power in their pocket why would they even want to change their mindset about raping or condoning rape?

And so, the moot question is,

How do we ensure people in power feel afraid of the consequences of ignoring or bending the law? 

To my mind there is an easy way. But first here's what Singapore did to spruce up their government - to make it honest and transparent. They made a concerted effort to eradicate corruption. This is a UN report compiled by a member of the Singapore "Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau" (CPIB). To give you a slight taste -  

In 1959, when Singapore attained self-government, ..... enforcement action was difficult against the corrupt because of:
a. weak laws: the offence was non-seizable and the powers provided to the officers of the CPIB were inadequate to enable them to carry out their duties effectively;
b. gathering of evidence was difficult because of the weak anti-corruption law and this had resulted in many corrupt public officers getting away with their crime;
c. the people generally were less educated and did not know their rights. They were submissive in their dealings with public officers in authority and were accustomed to unfair treatment by them;
d. public officers were not adequately paid compared with those in the private sector. Many of them became indebted through lavish lifestyle. Integrity in the public service was therefore lacking and some of the public officers resorted to
corruption to make ends meet;
e. CPIB officers then were drawn from the Singapore Police Force on short secondment. They were not fully committed to combating corruption especially when it involved their fellow police officers. Furthermore, the short secondment was disruptive as before an investigation could be completed, they were already due for posting. After independence the political leaders amended the laws to give more powers to the CPIB officers. To win public trust and confidence, the leaders took it upon themselves to set good examples for public officers to follow. They created a climate of honesty and integrity. Some of the examples set were:
a. they divested themselves from any involvement in financial or commercial ties;
b. they reported for work earlier than their subordinates

It is a nine page report and worth a read. Do you see any similarities between Singapore in 1959 and us today - 50 years later? Knowing so many members of our government and the major opposition have been accused of corruption and that they hold India to ransom, knowing they aren't interested in changing the status quo or knowing they believe they are so powerful they can cut down anything or anyone who stands in their way without any respect for life, property or the laws of our land, knowing they have either raped, condoned rape or ignored it or even allowed rape to teach a whole (minority) community a lesson, how we vote in the coming election could make all the difference.

That, to my mind, is the easiest way to change their mindset.

Let us not be afraid to vote out the looters, the corrupt, the arrogant, the indifferent; the ones who have fed off kickbacks as a result of which they've make decisions that don't necessarily benefit India or Indians; the ones who've cheated farmers out of the land they were tilling, who haven't declare their assets right at the outset and are billionaires now. Let us especially vote out the ones who've condoned rape (by their actions or inactions) and are rapists themselves. Let us not be fooled by them mouthing platitudes to win our votes. 

Let them not put fear in our minds about voting them out. It isn't the consequences of our actions that we should be afraid of. It is the consequences of theirs that they should be afraid of. 

Fear of punishment is the only thing that will make all our politicians accountable to India and Indians. It is the only thing that will force them to take swift action against rape (and corruption); to make our laws against rape effective. Nothing else will change their mindset. 




 

Taken to Court for Growing Veges.

By now we know that traffic fumes and overcrowding are huge culprits in depleting our natural resources. One outcome - our fruit and veges (veggies) grow in very poor quality soil.

Last year my husband and I decided we'd try and enrich our soil. At first, after months of effort we managed to produce a smelly, gooey slop. Now we are producing much better soil - sweet smelling, although it is still a bit lumpy.

What are we doing wrong? We attended a free city council sponsored course to find out. Apparently we aren't using enough brown organic waste. We all know about the two types of organic waste but bear with me as I feel it is worth repeating.

Brown and green organic waste: Both are essential for composting in approximately equal parts. Both need to be moist - not wet and aerated so that the micro organisms that convert it all to compost get oxygen.

• Brown Waste includes: Brown, dried leaves, dried grass, hay, sawdust (in moderation as the carbon content is way too much) and all kinds of paper, preferably shredded.
• Green Waste: Fresh (green) Grass clippings, Kitchen scraps (fruit, vegetables, coffee grounds, tea bags), weeds, green leaves, etc.

 As for methods of composting, I won't duplicate the advice of millions of online experts..



This summer we tried growing a few fruit and veges in our own home-composted soil. I can't begin to tell you how impressed we were with nature's bounty. We had a bumper crop each week and it lasted us throughout summer. Our capsicums were the sweetest and tender crisp, our cherry tomatoes were sweet and juicy and our mirchi, fat and not too teekha - exactly as we like them. Next season we are planning on more varieties of veges, fruit and herbs.

Eventually, once we are confident we have reasonably green thumbs we hope to get involved with our neighbourhood's community gardening efforts. If you'd like to find out about community gardens which are gaining popularity in NZ, I've written a guest post on Pattu's blog.

You might well ask what our composting, vege-growing and community efforts have to do with the title. That is Ron Finley's story. He's a great ambassador for community gardening and its benefits. He also has practical advice on making each community garden viable, long term and sustainable. And yes, someone did slap a case on him for growing veges.

Here's the link to his story in his own entertaining, humorous and inimitable style - TedX talk by Ron Finley.

Do Indians Take Things Lying Down?

Has anyone heard of Francois Gautier? He is a respected journalist and has worked for various newspapers and magazines, including ones in India. He has several books to his name and they are all about his perspective on India. François is now the editor in chief of the Paris-based La Revue de l’Inde and a director of a book collection on India with the same publisher. François, along with his wife Namrita, is also the trustee founder of FACT – India, which does exhibitions and commissions films documenting Human Rights abuse in South Asia. 

Amongst them:

·       an exhibition on the persecuted minorities of Bangladesh

·       one on the plight of Kashmiri Pandits (which was shown to the US Congress in 2005)

·       and another one on the testimonies of the Mumbai train bombings of 2006.

He obviously knows what he’s talking about when he writes on India. Take the following article – Are Hindus Cowards? He wanted to make the point that Indians took things lying down. He spoke of Islamic militancy, Chinese bullying, the US not handing over the chap who master minded the Mumbai attacks, the Saudi Arabians giving shelter to Tiger Memon, the Kashmiri pundits... In Kashmir, the land of yogis, where Hindu sadhus and sages have meditated for 5000 years, Hindus have been chased out of their ancestral home by death, terror and intimidation: there were 25% of Hindus at the beginning of the century in the Kashmir valley… and hardly a handful today.

All of the above is definitely part of our history. It is something we know for a fact but Gautier suggests we prefer not to acknowledge it out loud. Our politicians don’t either. It is almost as if we are browbeaten and cowed into silence. And that makes us cowards. The only confusion I had was whether in the article he sometimes meant Indians instead of Hindus.

On going over my response to his article I now feel it simply proved his point even further. I spoke of individual freedom - the ability to think and decide for oneself - and the fact that more Indians are able to exercise that freedom than our Muslim counterparts.  

To be honest I believe this is only part of the solution. Why do we Indians generally prefer not to talk of the aggression committed by others on us? Why do we feel we shouldn't mention such things? I think it isn’t cowardice. It is the fact that we don’t have the stomach for a spat. We know that the others will start arguing and defending their actions loudly; that a war of words might ensue; that we don’t want to appear uncivil or to stir up a wasp’s nest. And perhaps, this war of words might escalate into something bigger. That is enough to subdue us. 

Is that cowardice? Or is that a desire for peace at any cost? 

Can we not have that peace if we state things as they are? As they happened? Or are we afraid that the others who we argue with won’t let us move on? That there will be some other, indirect, vengeful consequences? That, in order to win an argument we might get caught up in some bigger undefined threat?

Till we try learning to stand up to bullies and to state indisputable facts, perhaps quietly and civilly, we will never find out. We won’t be able to move on. And others will continue to play their little (or huge) games with us. 

What is heartening is that at least we’ve started speaking out against the wrong doings of our own politicians. Their appeal to our finer senses while ignoring their own lack thereof doesn’t work anymore. Their final trump card that we are being disloyal to India by speaking out against their individual excesses doesn't fool us anymore. That seems to us like the fudging of issues. They are not India. We all are. They are our representatives. Where is their loyalty to India and to us when they commit their excesses like dipping into the Indian treasury, indulging in bribery, corruption, land grabs etc is what we'd like to know. 

Change is definitely in the air. Wonder how Indians will vote in the 2014 elections. As Manu Joseph rightly said, All Indians, including voters, lament that corruption is destroying the nation, but again and again they return the corrupt to power. Wonder if we will have the guts to give the non-corrupt a chance this time.

Note: On Gautier’s blog the comments section deteriorated into a spat. Both arguers were right in their own way but each dug in, indulged in a lot of name-calling and refused to see the other’s point of view. What could have been a mature exchange of views became childish. We have a lot to learn about arguing civilly and effectively to arrive at a satisfying conclusion – to take the best from each point made and move on. 

Here's the link to the post on Gautier's blog again.

Nothing is ever black and white. For shades of grey read the comments, some measured, after the following post that outlines a few episodes where India could've reacted more strongly and a few examples of how other countries have behaved in the face of muscle flexing bullies. India never had guts; so will never be glorious
 

Jyoti's Rapist Dies. Should I Rejoice?

One of Jyoti's brutal rapists has committed suicide. His lawyer claims he was "happy" and couldn't have committed suicide; that there's more to this than meets the eye.

My first reaction was - good, I'm glad. As for his being "happy", it made me feel there was no repentance in this vile culprit for his ugly crime and I was glad he was dead. I also felt that for the first time, other rapists, not only the four plus one minor co-accused but any rapist, will be really afraid. I felt that a would-be rapist will think twice because of the possible consequences.

But on thinking about it I felt that the police either messed up or fouled up.

If what the lawyer and the accused's family say is true, it could've been either the inmates, an outsider who gained access or the police themselves who killed the rapist.

If it was  the other inmates or an outsider or, if it was a suicide, the police weren't effective in doing their job properly. If the police killed him, they took the law into their own hands. Dispensing justice isn't the job of the police.Their job is to protect the public and apprehend wrong doers.

Either way, the police have let Indians down by allowing or committing this suicide or murder. Whoever commited this crime are vigilantes taking the dispensation of justice into their own hands. What if this happens to someone who is genuinely innocent and in jail while awaiting justice?

Let's see what happens with the other accused in their custody.  Indians want justice - not more proof of either police brutality or police ineffective laxity. Indians want a police force that makes them feel more safe than unsafe.

Let's also see what the verdict is for the co-accused. Hope it is what civil society expects - life imprisonment, severe punishment, no visits from families, hard labour and no comforts but NO death penalty.


Note: Feelings about these rapists and what they did to Jyoti are still running understandably high. But this post is about the police failing in their duty to protect a prisoner - any prisoner - in their custody. What do you think are the long term consequences of that?

Putting Theory Into Practice

Today, thanks to many resources, especially the internet, there's a lot of information available at our fingertips. For example, let me tell you why I decided I’d cook parsnips (image of the raw vegetable on wiki) which belong to the carrot family. They are richer in vitamins and minerals than even carrots and they taste like, and have slightly less calories than, potatoes. Cooked parsnips, Indian style, is easy to mistake for a potato dish but tastes less dense and sweeter. I also decided on daal as parsnips have carbohydrates and daal is protein.

My (wishful) thought process? Over another ten years if I don’t have large portions, generally avoid desserts, chocs, fast foods and potato chips, if I exercise and most of all, if I continue planning meals to include the healthy food pyramid I might see my waist again and be able to run and jump again. Ah, to be able to do that. And cycle!

Being ambitious, by itself, is not enough. And yet it has taken me years to put what I knew in theory, into practice. So, here’s my million dollar question.

__________________________________________________

 Why are we ground in inertia even when we have the knowledge in theory?
__________________________________________________

Why don’t we apply what we know in theory, to our day to day activities? Take me and two of my pet hates, as an example.

1. I know the consequences of not exercising for twenty minutes a day – only twenty minutes out of the approximately sixteen hours I am awake in a day (come ON!). To my mind it is a boring, mindless activity.
2. In school and college, I didn’t like studying topics that didn't interest me. I knew I needed to, in order to pass. Come exam time I knew the consequences of being distracted by other activities – add online activities for today’s students - the fear, the tension of having very little time and too much to go through. Yet I gave in to those distractions. I had to pick what I read and omit the rest, praying that I'd made the right choice. I resolved to do better next time (but not this time.)

For some driven and self motivated people the solution is obvious. There are no short cuts. Just do it. This post is for the rest of us utterly frail willed humans.

One of the reasons for our lack of input is obvious. We go for activities that interest us and are fun. If exercising and studying are absorbing and fun activities for us, well and good. If not, we have a problem. So it stands to reason that when we do have the opportunity to choose a career or an exercise regime we should choose the ones that satisfy this basic human trait.

Choose something that is interesting and fun.

Humans are social animals. They like interaction with other humans. To align this trait with boring exercises or studies we have various options.

One, we interact on a social level with others for some time and go back refreshed, to overcome inertia with renewed energy. Two, we choose a companion to either exercise or study with. But choose as early as possible and choose with care.

Try activities  with a companion

And three, we might try distracting ourselves while we exercise. Audio books are my thing.

When I was training to be an airhostess a long time ago, I remember we had wet runs. I don’t know what you think that means but at our training centre it meant an elaborate, first class, 5-course dinner service with real food and artificial wine (water) that flowed out of wine bottles. The idea was to put what we’d learnt in theory into practice. Only two of us would do the actual service. The rest sat in a mock up of a first class cabin pretending to be passengers. Our job was to observe the entire procedure. Most of us ended up being thoroughly distracted by the soup, salad, hors doevres, main entree, dessert, cheeses and tea-coffee put before us. What an education that would’ve been for the two who did the actual wet run. The rest of us had to wait till our training was complete and we were in flight with a senior air hostess and sixteen first class passengers watching our every move like hawks and making us very nervous before we could put our theory into practice.

Wherever and whenever possible put theory into practice.

Imagine what an effective tool this would be in schools, colleges or if we were learning a trade or service. (Many of our businesses do take part in schemes providing internships to student learners but compared to the number of students we churn out each year they are too few and too far between.)

Group discussions and Communication skills: This is a greatly neglected area in Indian education. Group discussions have huge benefits. For example they teach us to

• gather relevant information
• present the information well, in the time allotted.
• focus on what others are saying
• understand other points of view and realise there are many answers (not just mine!) to a question.

With a trained teacher’s guidance we also learn not to squabble, dig in or score points off each other.In short we improve our listening and speaking skills - communication skills.

Finally, one way to remain motivated that needs a definite mention is to use outside help. For our exercise regime and studies, the outside help is personal trainers and tutors who keep us on the straight and narrow on a regular basis. We might end up being lighter of pocket but the results are very rewarding.

I am sure there are more strategies to help us convert our theoretical knowledge into practice. I, for one, would really appreciate any new pointers as I know the value of chipping away, of eating well, of regular exercise and of studying everyday. That is, I know the benefits in theory.

The Case for Civility

Civility personified

According to the inimitable Shona Chaudhury, the language we Indians use is to corner each other. Dealing with other Indians seems to bring out the worst in us. Even if we do extend co-operation it isn’t to feed our higher intrinsic values but for personal gain – the what’s-in-it-for-me syndrome. 

There was a time when this wasn't the case. The majority used to be civil and genuinely helpful. That Indians would be anything else to one another wasn't something I even considered. Why is this wonderful culture eroding?

There are many and varied reasons why we get reduced to being ungenerous or arrogant towards others. One of them is to keep others out of our exclusive group. Often it is to hide feelings of inadequacy. On the other hand, it could well be crass self-admiration. Perhaps too many people having to share too few resources has something to do with it. What complicates the issue for us Indians is that the gap between the privileged and under-privileged is huge. 

When we see the ones who are privileged or prosperous benefitting from arrogance, we try and emulate their behaviour. It gradually seeps into our psyche and our system. And don’t let’s forget the other side of the coin. The ones who are prosperous or privileged see for themselves and know in their hearts how little difference there really is between them and the underprivileged. That causes a fear psychosis of its own. Many of us take on the ugly mantle of arrogance to keep the others in their place and so that we don’t have to share our privileges or resources. 

There is another kind of arrogance that needs a quick mention. It is more complex than bludgeoning arrogance. It stems from a variety of reasons and sometimes it is self defence because one doesn't know how the other person will react to civility. Will they mistake it for familiarity? Or horror of horrors, an invitation or a come on? This happens when we live side by side with a whole variety of cultures. Some of us grow up believing that even talking to members of the opposite sex is being "lose" and others mingle freely without giving it a second thought. What happens when the two cultures live on each others doorsteps could well be the stuff comedies or tragedies are made of. That's the sort of sitcom (hopefully a comedy, hopefully subtle) I'm looking forward to watching on Indian TV someday.

Which brings me to another kind of subtle pressure that comes our way - from our movies. To convey superiority, the hero clicks fingers at the less fortunate, like waiters; a man of means slaps or scolds the economically downtrodden like the chaprasi or gurkha; and our varied public drinks it all in. In a horrible blend of movies and real life we see some grown people touching the toes of politicians - often uneducated ones who hold portfolios they are ill qualified for - to curry favour. At the same time they use peremptory tones with others because movies have taught them it proves their superiority. 

Our politicians  encourage this because to them, our servility means money and power. It is heady. If they have to use the services of goons to keep us afraid and servile, they don’t hesitate. The end isn’t something as highfaluting as benefit of the people and the country but their having the purse strings in their clutches and no one – except other, stronger politicians with bigger goons – challenging their decisions. In short, it is the rule of the jungle over and above the rule of law; the rule of arrogance and servility over pride and humility; everything that is inherently decent in the human spirit subjugated to everything that is base.

If we scratch at the surface of this wish to abase ourselves to some and be insensitive and downright bludgeoning to others we realise it stems from the same basic instinct for survival - fear.

It is time we asked ourselves if we need to give in to our baser instinct by using arrogant or sycophantic language or behaviour. If you believe we do, don’t waste your time reading any further. Otherwise, read on.

Servility makes the one who has to dish it out resentful. Arrogance makes the recipient resentful. Your gain is my loss and vice versa. The truly civilised or the truly informed and educated don’t feel the need to do either. In their minds, either arrogance or abasing oneself to others is crass and ignorant. They use language that brings out the best within themselves and others; that resonates with their humanity and quest for knowledge. They seek co-operation and win-win. They know that being polite costs nothing, appeals to the human spirit and gets the work done. 

As Steven Covey would feel the need to qualify at this juncture, this isn’t about outward change where we are able to express ourselves and make a point. Nor is this about handling ourselves with skill and poise. It isn't about, Oh, I'm so exquisitely polite. 

It isn’t about our persuasive skills either. It’s about stopping abrasive and unnecessary put downs; about changing our behaviour so that we start feeling good, not just about ourselves (which is a negative, victorious, disrespectful and often ignorant kind of "good" at someone else's expense) but about other Indians too.  It is about plain and simple respect for ourselves and others.

What would convince us to strive for such behaviour? Some of us, in our minds, equate it with weakness. (If I don’t take advantage, they will...) Here's a thought, derived from this article on wiki, that might convince us otherwise. 

If we believe we'd like to be arrogant with some and servile with others, someone else believes the same about us. They like being arrogant with us and our being servile to them. That is exactly what we don’t want. On the other hand if civility were the norm, they would hesitate to be either arrogant or servile with anyone - including us. 

So even if it is a question of making rational choices it stands to reason that we behave civilly with all, as evenly and consistently as possible. 

One thing that could well mean genuine respect for many in India could be to see what education does to the underprivileged. So many NGOs are doing admirable work in that field. It would be great if all of us took the trouble to find out who these NGOs are in our immediate vicinity and what they do.

Here are a couple of interesting articles on arrogance
How to Detect Arrogant People
10 Ways to Tell if You're Confident - or Arrogant

 

The Zoo of Democracy

Please help me welcome Amit of Mashed Musings as my guest writer. He is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Take one of his recent posts – he started off by talking about the lijjat papad ad. I haven’t seen the ad but apparently a family of bunnies promoted the papads and urged the nation to eat them as they were very karrram-kurrram. Wife bunny wore a bindi and ended up reproducing a baby bunny. A very young Amit thought for a long time after, that babies were created by eating papads and watched his parents at the dinner table with horror as they merrily crunched through a plateful every night. 

Amit has another talent - one that I really appreciate not only in him but also in one or two other bloggers. Even as he makes us laugh he feeds us the scary and unpalatable truth about his beloved India. 

Delighted to have you as my guest, Amit.

It is a zoo of wonders, the first of its kind. It is a necessity too. Where else can we keep all those dangerous, carnivorous animals we have caught? The funding is clandestine but everyone knows where it comes from. There are enough madmen in the country with a lot of money.

It is named – The Zoo of Democracy.

One fine morning, I decided to pay a visit. Everyone was going cacophonously gaga over it and hurting my eardrums. My wife seemed happy with the idea of a picnic.

We reached the elaborate main gate done in the style of Buland Darwaza, radiating a mysterious aura. It took me some time to get the tickets as the crowd was overwhelming.

Then I saw him – a giant of a man, moustached and wearing a saffron shirt, white trousers and green shoes. He was huge but not scary for he was smiling benevolently at the crowd at the entrance. His appearance was striking. His right forehead seemed to be a bit flattened as if someone had lobbed off a chunk. His arms were uneven, the right one slightly thicker than the left. His legs gave the impression of being tapered at the feet, giving his lower body a triangular appearance. 

No one wanted a Guide but I thought it would be a good idea to have someone show me around. Surprisingly, he was the only guide available.

A few minutes and pleasantries later, we were trailing the human flag.

We reached the first circular cage which had huge red horns coming out of its iron dome and a red tail coming out of the base. Inside it we spotted our first dangerous animal.

“Behold the beast, dear Sir and Madam. This beast is called Salman Rushdie. This unique cage was especially designed for him. He is one of our most prized possessions,” the guide chirruped. A couple asked us to take their picture with Salman reading ‘The Satanic Verses’ calmly in the cage, raising a singular, amused eyebrow at the act.

We moved to the next cage which was partially covered with an enormous white drape. Only the front was visible.

“This animal here is called Taslima Nasreen; very dangerous and viperous. She wrote a book about Hindus being killed in Bangladesh and had to be instantly caged. Photo, dear sir?” the guide asked with a smile.

We declined politely and moved ahead as Taslima looked at us curiously with an uninterested yawn.

We came across a rectangular cage. No human was visible but there was a huge painting of prancing horses in the middle.

“This animal died a few weeks back but we thought of keeping his memory alive. He was a big catch. God! How much publicity we gained when we caught him!” the Guide said.

“Hussain’s cage,” I whispered to my wife. She nodded and took pictures.

“I’ve heard there are cages for common animals,” wifey said.

“Of course, Madam! This initiative was started some time back and is gaining popularity,” the guide beamed. He took us to a large rectangular cage where a lot of animals sat and stared listlessly.

“Why are they not kept in separate cages?” I asked.

“They are common animals. Separate cages are for celebrities, our most coveted catches,” the Guide explained.

“Who are they?” my Mrs. asked.

“These three female animals sitting in a corner tried to form a girl band. And those two animals wrote a Facebook comment. And that male animal sitting there helped release video tapes of moral policing. That animal sitting over there made a cartoon and that one asked an uncomfortable question to a Chief Minister,” the guide added.

I took pictures of the sullen animals.

“Why do you call them animals?” I asked.

The Guide studied me for a moment.

“Because that is what they are. Why will we keep humans in cages? They are examples of what’s wrong with our society. They are detrimental to the progress of our great nation. They have to be separated from humans before the rot spreads,” he said, softly.

“Who is in that cage?” my wife asked pointing at a shiny cage glittering with disco lights. There was a huge crowd around it. People were frivolously taking pictures of the latest attraction.

“We acquired this animal a few days back. He is very popular,” the guide said.

We moved closer and jostled our way in to see the animal. He was staring at the crowd, lost in his own thoughts, seeing everyone and not seeing anyone.

“Kamal Hassan!” my wife jumped with joy.

“We have Deepa Mehta, Nandita Das and Shabana Azmi in the adjacent cages. The one surrounded with water is Deepa’s and the one surrounded with fire on all sides contains the other two,” the guide said pointing to two cages nearby.

It took us the whole day to cover the zoo. It was spread over a huge area and our Guide was very patient. He entertained us with his jokes while he showed us hundreds of cages containing film makers, painters, writers, artists and other common animals. Then he took us to the canteen where we had snacks with him.

“Who funds the zoo?” I asked him in-between sips of tea.

“Our funds are overflowing, Sir. There are so many religious people in this country who understand the need for this unique zoo and who graciously help us. Of course we have secret political funding too,” the Guide said.

How long have you been working here?” my wife asked.

“Haha! I own this place. I created it. This guide job was just a fancy of mine,” the guide laughed and said.

I choked on my tea.

I was not sure how I felt about my visit to the zoo. If everyone was saying those animals were dangerous, then they must be, right? All I had to do was live my life in the prescribed way and ask no questions. How difficult could that be?

As the day ended, the guide took us to the main gate and bid us goodbye. It was then that I realized that I hadn’t asked his name.

“Sir!” I turned around and screamed. The Guide looked at me.

“What is your name?”

“India,” he said and smiled.

[image from here]